G. B. Risch's

Archive for the ‘Crezy Noos’ Category

Man Born without Head Discovers He Cannot Wear Hats

In Crezy Noos on September 7, 2014 at 2:17 pm

In a strange twist, we revealed the whole story in the headline. There is no further information. We are not even sure of the man’s name. Neil something. Age anywhere from 23 to 71. When contacted via phone for a comment, he had this to say: “…”

As a comparison, the following are photos of men who, surprisingly, were born with heads. It is unconfirmed whether or not they could wear hats:

big head

Professor Ulrich Krock loves to use his amazing cranium to head-butt his students, think of solutions to problems, and nod. He feeds it four Slim Jims every morning to keep it docile.


Little Donny Dope, who always tied ribbons on his guitar because he thought it made him play better. Hey, Donny, stop smiling! You have scabies!


This man, Dr. Wa Wa Wuggsywoo III, is naked and lacks any genitalia. But at least he has a head!


Newsicles Copyeditor’s Canned!!!

In Crezy Noos on December 3, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Due to cutbacks in funding from its biggest sponsor, Ernie’s Edible Asbestos and Overseas Munitions, widely popular news blog and anesthesia substitute Newsicles laid off its entire staff of copyeditors, who are responsible for editing every story for grammar, content, and facts, last Thursday. Teh disgruntled ex-employees fond pink slips in their desks Wedenesday morning and then were led outside the building by Sal, the 94-year-old security officar, and his shotgun. “We are outreaged owtreges outraged and appaled,” said one guy Tuesday. “Where will we correct grammer now!?” The copyediters will certainly turn to suicide as there only hope of escape probably.

On a similar story, that same Monday, Newsicles were also forced to cut the saleries of the wrighters on its staff. In protest, the writers refuse to complete any