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Archive for March, 2010|Monthly archive page

He Who Smelt It: A Stinky Review of Alice in Wonderland

In Lifestyle on March 11, 2010 at 12:52 pm

By: Janus Festerlik and Quint Uritzal

Quick Synopsis

This new adaptation of Alice in Wonderland stars Johnny Depp and Morgan Freeman. Here’s a breakdown of the plot:

  • Girl falls down hole
  • Mushrooms, Tea, and Hookahs
  • Is that a talking oyster?!?!
  • (Missing information here. Reviewers asleep.)
  • Alice out of hole

Thoughts

JF: This movie is a loose interpretation of that song by Oasis, if I’m not mistaken.

QU: (singing) And afterrrr alllll….

JF: (singing) You’re my Wondderrlanndddd.

QU: This movie was originally advertised as PG-13, but I guess they decided to change it to G.

JF: Since when is Tim Burton working with Disney? Everyone’s going family-friendly.

QU: The performances were so two-dimensional.

JF: I won’t argue with you there. It was the most 2D 3D movie I’ve seen.

QU: The only thing that stood out for me was Morgan Freeman’s performance as the Queen of Hearts.

Morgan Freeman playing the Queen of Hearts in the live-action, Tim Burton-directed Alice in Wonderland. Unknown actor playing flamingo stick.

JF: Best actor of our time. Hands down.

QU: And how!

JF: That being said, we recommend that everyone sees this movie. Let us know how it is!!

Ranking

17 1/2 Butt cheeks out of 1 3/4

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